studying is hard

Everytime I start to study, I get distracted. I go next door to see what my suitemates are up to. I flip channels idly to find a new reality show. I sit and stare and think about Spring Break.

I'm so excited for Spring Break. I'm going to keep the family drama to a minimum, hopefully get to hang out with Sam and Rebecca and everyone like old times, hang out with Eric like we're a normal couple, AND sit for a week doing mostly nothing. I'm stoked.

I'm totally stressed out. My pink Camel cigarettes are growing on me. Caitlin has be harranguing me about the ill effects of tobacco. I think that in a world where my sister parties harder than i do, a vice that keeps me going when I want to scream isn't so bad. Is it?

I'm completely depressed about my sister, for the record. Its like everyone has just given up. She's my baby sister! People shouldn't give up on her quite so easily....well, they shouldn't give up on her at all is what i'm going for.

life notes.

Dear Customers-
When asking for a pain in the butt drink, don't lean over the bar and talk about how you are a pain. I will not make you feel better by saying 'oh no you aren't' I will just smile and nod at what you say as i mix your 72 splendas into your sugarfree skim whatever with whip.

ps. If you left the whip off, you'd save a ton of calories. Its pure heavy cream. Pure FAT. Much like your bulbous rear end.

Dear Angela-
You are awesome, regardless of what others say (or don't say). You rock!

fuckwittage. in action.

I'm young, sexy, and beautiful.

I spend too much time complaining, not enough time actually doing things.

I rock.

in which angela deals with crippling depression

I'm sad. Part of me almost wishes I had kept with the blissful ignorance, because I'm falling back into the same habits that gave me two C's last semseter. I haven't done my Viking or Rome reading in a couple weeks, but I started reading Bridget Jones for what is easily the 200th time. For some reason, i find it really difficult to care about history but easy to care about Bridget Jones and her misadventures with men. My sister is self destructing and I'm giggling inwardly at the image of Bridget Jones flopping about in a communal dressing room with a little black dress stuck over her head.

I need to focus on the positive. Eric likes me, in spite of all of my neuroses and fishing for compliments. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I see a really pretty girl. (of course, other times i just see the eyebrows that need waxing, the love handles that need toning, the spots that need concealing) At least now everyone knows what Brittany is up to. It used to be that I'd tell my parents that she's up to no good, and they'd respond with "well, she says she's not drinking, so you must be wrong!" wtf. If the situation wasn't so dire, I'd respond with a hearty 'told you so!' Of course now I just wish that i'd been wrong all those times. I'd give anything to have been wrong.

Caitlin and I checked out an awesome apartment yesterday. Its in an older place, so it dosen't have a lot of the crazy add ons that other places had, but the aparment was pretty spacious, which is awesome. It will be nice to get off campus and have my own room and such. I need to stop spending so much money so I can afford the deposits and application fees and yadda yadda yadda. Buying cheap Tshirts and makeup dosen't helpe me feel any better.

I miss my sister. I miss the way she used to be.

I just want my family to be okay.

best thing ever.

Adventure Time
Uploaded by jmp478

Watch this. If you don't like it, get off my blog.

whine.

I'm tired. Its freezing outside. I have to open tommorrow, which means waking up at 5 am. I don't want to read anymore history books, I want to lay in the sun and read a Christopher Moore book and listen to stupid pop on my ipod. I want to be home all the time, I'm tired of the dorm room that makes me feel all stuffy in my head. I'm breaking out and I want the streak in my hair to go away, but I want Debbie to do it so my hair doesn't fall out of my head. I want a cigarette. I miss my mom. I'm broke all the time, how will I ever move off campus?


But...

Its been almost a whole day and I haven't chewed my fingers (the bad ones are wrapped up in bandaids) so maybe i'll kick one gross habit. Eric came to visit and it was quite wonderful. I think I picked a badass topic to research in my Pop Culture class, and I don't have to work or go to class tonite, so I'm going to relax and do what I want. It will be awesome.