brains on strike

Ever since my overly productive day reading the whole focault book, my brain feels as if it has decided to quit.

Even though my brain is on strike, I've managed to finish almost all the work necessary for the weekend. I just have to write my precis on The History of Sexuality, and i'll be set for the weekend. Boo yah.

I'm going to have the best weekend of life. Justin Timberlake on friday! Eric visits on Saturday! woo hoo!

So. I uploaded some pictures to flickr. Its amazing, I'm shocked at how easy it is to use and how quickly addictive. I forsee a problem in the future.

in which angela is actually sober

Fun weekend. Small dorm party Friday, in which I made a new favorite friend and a drunk fool out of myself at the same time. Go me!

Saturday, i volunteered to designated drive. In the presence of many fine liquors and a full bottle of delicious 10 cane rum, I abstained. I just pushed everything that I would drink on my friends. Marshmal got so drunk, she accidentally went into someone else's dorm room. Poor girl.

I miss Sam. She hasn't called me, or contacted me past random two sentence IMs since I've been home. It kind of blows.

I hate that the only time I actually call Eric is when I'm drunk. When I'm sober, I'm too afraid of being annoying. And when I'm drunk I'm actually retardedly annoying. Go Angela!

The truth is, I like him a lot. No games necessary, stupid buttfaces making me think that they are.

Justin Timberlake on Friday and Eric on Saturday! Next weekend will rock. I just need to make it through this week of classes/work. Rock.

Ahh. The second week of classes. The thing I love about the first week of class is that Caitlin and I wake up an hour and a half before classes begin, shower, blowdry, straighten our hair, do our makeup, and plan matching outfits from shoes to jacket. The second week begins the dangerous backslide to waking up 10 mins before class starts, putting on jeans and a hoodie over whatever you slept in and booking it with a granola bar.

I'm sure that by the end of the semester, my classmates wonder what happend to the pretty girl and why a greasemonkey has taken her seat. Its cool. It happens. I'm cute, even when all I wear is my gimmie kiss hoodie and the same jeans over and over.

Speaking of my gimmie kiss hoodie, I hate when I have to explain it. Its my favorite hoodie, even if the joke started with him. I like kisses and hearts and pigs. Even if I did tell my pop culture class that I kiss pigs, I'm not going to retire it just yet. Even though I should, due to the nasty stain on it. Fucking greasy french fries.

I love living in virginia. No morning classes today at all. It took Norma approximately 3 hours to get to work, so I had to work quite late, and i got fucked over by Vocelli's pizza delivery. All because of approximately 3 inches of snow.

I wish I was home sometimes. Brittany is possibly/probably getting expelled from school. I don't know why, the fact that now everyone else knows what she is makes me really sad. My poor dad, he tried to raise her to be better than this. I miss all my stuff at home, my big bed, my sewing machine, dad and debbie, my puppy, and so on. I've never been this homesick before, I was always the kid who was eternally grateful to be away from her parents. Now i just want to go home.

I want to cook and stuff. And use my bento box! I still haven't used it, but it is at home, too. With my rice steamer and my creme brulee set and all of my cookbooks. I hate hate eating school food.

I had an amazing time this weekend hanging out with Caitlin, Jacki, and Sharon. I love them all so hard. I also love pink shooters and free jagerbombs.

I went to sleep at 6 am. I'm awake again, more or less ready for the world. Caitlin got up, and promptly went back to sleep when she realized class was cancelled. She had a full nights rest. I'm afraid of what that means. I'm having a mood swing, i think.

Being back at school is pretty sweet. My classes are 99.9% badass. How can Vikings in History and Film NOT be badass??

Caitlin and I are falling back into our old routines. Right now she's reading Cosmo and playing internet games and i'm watching sex and the city and facebooking. Its nice to know that no matter what, some things in your life will always stay the same. I'll make Caitlin feel uncomfortable and she'll laugh at my off color jokes. I love her. I told her to make sure I keep to the happy side of drunk and not the depressed angry side, which means I'll just drink less and stay off the phone. I'm sick of losing nights of my life.

Lately, my bed has felt too small, too cold, and much too lonely. Yeah, its a twin bunk bed, but right now I want someone to snuggle me and kiss me and make me feel beautiful. Someone quite specific. I am totally lame, but that's okay. I have to work all weekend, too. I was hoping to get to go home, but no. Sadface.

Caitlin and I had a very serious discussion earlier tonite about how on earth I manage to attract boys. I really couldn't tell you how it works, because i'm mostly retarded. Caitlin spends most of her time boggling at how stupid/wierd I am, but it seems that boys enjoy that??? How can you spend the whole night kissing someone who started off the evening by telling you that she peed on someone and that sea creatures don't pee, they make crystals? HOW???

Well, i'm off to bed. It might be lonely and cold, but i'm tired.

Not having any plans ever is apparently good for my blogging.

I hate where I am right now. I want to be a better person. I really don't enjoy the sick feeling in my stomach that lingers after I spend a night doing shots. I used to have interests. I used to win photography awards. I used to direct plays, and win competitions. I used to be so happy just to be me. I want that girl back. That's the girl everyone loves.

I refuse to drink my life away. I'm better than that.

Tilly and the Wall rock your face off.

Things that kind of piss me off, in no particular order:

1. Ignoring me in favor of your boyfriend. I officially apologize to anyone and everyone who has ever felt the least bit slighted because of any relationship I've ever been in. Its shitty. Its shit-tastic, actually. Ignoring me all week then expecting me to kiss you so the boyfriend you've been ignoring me for will be jealous? no comment.

2. Quite practically begging someone to call you...and then never getting a phone call. Lamesauce. I'm sorry, the time zone and it being late excuse is no excuse at all when the (incredibly sexy) girl who wants you to call is up until approximately 4 am.

3. Dude, i'm fully aware that we both crashed in Rebecca's living room. I know, I was there. We do have that in common, thanks for noticing. That does not mean I'd like to hook up with you at 7:30 am. Or ever. The only person I want to hook up with won't call me.

4. Why the hell would you say you'd be my friend and then be a complete douche? Seriously, why?

5. The sinking feeling you get when you realize that all your friends are having a shindig...and you are not invited. Its a spectactular shade of awesome.

Ahh. I love PostSecret.

I got a new car. Its sexy. Hella sexy. Everyone should be jealous of it. My car pooped out one too many times and now i've got a new one.

...and a car payment every other month.

Late night reflections on life are best when they are fueled by too much caffeine.

Having worked with food and/or the public since I was 16, i have noticed a strange phenomena. Customer approaches barista/chocolatier and asks, "what's good?" Barring the instinct to say, "in da hood??", I usually giggle and reply, "um, well...the [insert coffee drink/confection/pastry here] is MY favorite, its really good" Customer examines it and says, "oh, but is it FRESH?" Of course, i reply "but of course!" Customer looks at me as if i'm some sort of sexual deviant (which i very well may be, but that does not hamper my ability to suggest treats) and says suspiciously, "is it REALLY fresh?"
...well, fuck. That exact cake/carafe of coffee/chocolate is actually a relic from the Norman conquest of england, with a touch of bubonic plague. I've been serving it to unwitting customers all day on an endless rampage of death by pastry. Thanks to your inquisitiveness, you have saved yourself from an early grave. Bravo! ..."of course its really fresh!"

Customers make me giggle.

I love phone conversations that go so well that when you hang up the phone and look at the call timer, you are actually shocked at how long you chattered away at the poor soul on the other end....especially about something as mundane as which channel fraggle rock came on as a child.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12Z6pWhM6TA
This might be the cutest thing I've ever seen. In life. Sad that my first instinct is to e-mail it to someone in California? I hope not.

I've been spending ridiculous amounts of time alone or hanging out with Debbie. Not as bad as you might think. I needed a break from life and time for self reflection. I decided to to take a break from education classes for the semester. There's no sense in taking a class when i don't want to be there...I'll get absolutely nothing out of the class or the practicum experience. I've been telling Debbie all my misgivings about going into teaching, and I think a break is precisely what I need. I finally got the gonads to tell my dad yesterday at dinner. From the way he looked at me, you would have thought I said that I was thinking of getting impregnated by a crackhead. He thinks that since I'm history major, i need to do history for the rest of my life in order to "use" my degree. He frustrates me to no end. I chose a "real" school, and "real" major, with the understanding that once I got a degree, I'd finally be free to choose what I wanted to do with my life. I want to try the hair thing, I want to live in a city and work in a coffee shop and take pictures, I want to not have huge responsibilities for a while. I gave up on the idea of going to VCU (of course, Alex had something to do with that) and majoring in theater and photography so that I could do something 'real' so he'd be proud of me. I can't live my whole life trying to make up for Brittany or Mom or anybody. Its time for me to live for myself.

I don't even want to go back to Mary Wash. Lucky Alex, he found a way out. He's moving to Tennessee and going to school there for his senior year. He'll be happy, I'm glad for him. Me? I'll stifle in Fredericksburg for a while more. Then its off to NYC or at least Richmond. Maybe I'll try to transfer to William and Mary...then i could work on my hair apprenticeship and go to school at the same time. There's really only one person at Mary Wash that i'd miss crazily, and thats Miss Marshmal, and she wants to go to UD. Who knows what will happen? Given my grades last semester, transferring probably isn't even such a good idea. Nobody will take me.

ps- does anyone else feel like there's something fishy with this US bombing in Somalia? It was just last week that I read a news report where all civilians were being forced to disarm...its sounding much like that scary gun propaganda that alex's dad had.

Musings for the car ride home from Blacksburg:

Why don't gas purchases show up in my online account balance? I live in fear of accidentally embarking on a crime spree of stolen gas due to card processing error. I bought gas...forever ago, and its not in there.

Why is it that I can dispense the best advice for other people? I know Shannon won't listen, but she needs to get out and get over Rob. Anyone that chooses World of Warcraft (and their in-game girlfriend) over their wife/girlfriend is a serious loser. serious.

Why am I such a wimp? ...stop waiting for a phone call. just dial. do it.

What am I going to do with my life? I need to decide if i'm going to take that education class or not. Like. For Real. I don't want to teach! I don't wanna!!

I'm tired of being unemployed. I'm booored.

I can't decide if I should drop my Viking history class in favor of my last education class that has a practicum, just in case I decide to keep the teaching thing going. But. Vikings. In history and film. How badass??

I want to be away from my parents and work at my coffee shop and drink with my roomie.

I want all the people I love in the same place.

Horoscope for Jan. 3, 2007:
Finding balance is important, for without feelings your life ends up cold and dry.

My birthday/new years was a series of emotional ups and downs. I'm feeling good now.

I'm feeling retardedly creative. and talkative. I want to tell everyone my feeeeeelings.

I can't sleep. I've updated facebook, and myspace.

I'm considering signing up for a flickr account, but the internet already sucks up a lot of life/time.