Its official. My parents went to court, and my dad gave up custody of my sister to my mom. He's had enough of the abuse, I guess. I totally understand why he did it and how its a good thing and everything, but there's still that little child inside of me who just wants a normal family. She's pissed.

I feel like a fuckup sometimes. I alternate between being greatly amused by myself and being scared of what i'm becoming. Maybe I am on a downward spiral? I don't even want to think about it. I'm so lost and confused, and it seems that nobody wants to stick around ever. I'm a fucking lunatic, I don't really blame them.

I'm going home next weekend to see Sam and Rebecca and Cole and Willie and my parents and everybody. Caitlin is going to Tech and I have Friday and Saturday off. Amazing! Its going to be a fun time.

Maybe I should make an appointment with Dr. Lee when I go home and get back on those meds. I hated them, no I won't. I just need to be okay. But I can't. I'm not doing well with this 'be okay all fucking alone' thing.