WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME???

why is communicating so difficult?

work all weekend. no trip to dc. no lovely visit. quite a depressing thought, actually.

when i think of the sock monkey's smiling face sailing out the window, i feel a ridiculous amount of anger.

Its fall break and everyone has gone home. Everyone but me. I had to work AND I have no desire to go home when things are all shot to shit there. My mom keeps calling. It makes me feel bad, but I don't have the mental capacity to deal with that shit.

Jon is awesome, though. He makes me retarded happy. It sucks living so far away from each other. I've almost gone through a whole tank of gas since Thursday. Its Saturday. Its totally worth it to spend the night in each other's arms.

Sam got fired from BAM. How ridiculous. I'm thinking I won't work there this December because that shit is bananas. And of course, this summer I want to stay here. Williamsburg is more stress than its worth.

I'm having lukewarm feelings about the education program. The more I observe and the more i learn about what its really like to teach in secondary school, the more i'm like 'and i want this to be my life WHY?' Perhaps I'll go to grad school, then I can teach in college and write scholarly books and have a snooty superior attitude much like Dr. Poskas. Rock on. Or, I could just get a plain old history degree and see where life takes me. Who knows?

I'd give anything to be out, living a real life. On a beach, in the mountains, somewhere where my soul is happy.


ps- lately, i've been missing kat and claire. is it too late to mend broken bridges?